Life, Death and Perspective

My best friend's mother just finished her losing battle with cancer. She died a long, painful death in the heart of the Bible belt. I have learned much about the traditions still surrounding "passing on" in the South as I supported my friend, as best I could, over the phone from the opposite coast.

Her daughters attended to her at home during her last weeks, (very traditional). But, the deceased's choice of cremation rather than burial has mystified and upset many of her neighbors. To not have a "viewing" of the body puzzles them. The family's choice not to have friends "sit in mourning" for days at the house has even offended some of the locals. A few hardy souls have showed up at the door, a hot dish of food in hand, wearing "mourning suits." They have been thanked, received a gentle explaination and sent on their way (very un-traditional).

Even the natural timing of tonight's lunar eclipse has taken on religious significance, to some, because it occurred so near to the day of death.

I admire this woman's determination to have her last affairs conducted in a "creative" manner despite the cultural surrondings. She, and her family, are exercising considerable courage to fly in the face of such deep-seated tradition. It is not even a matter of differing religions, the deceased was as Christian as any of them. She just had a more practical perspective.

Her sons and daughters will scatter her ashes in the creek that runs through the farm on Sunday morning. Farewell and rest in peace.